Clue, the guilty pleasure Tim Curry movie from 1985 based on the classic Hasbro board game, is getting a remake. If you’ve never seen the original, it’s pretty faithful to the premise of the game: Six strangers are invited to a dinner party at a remote mansion. When a murder occurs, each of the six becomes a suspect and must investigate the others to clear their name.
Before we talk about the remake, let’s rewind back to the ’80s and revisit this classic scene from Clue — skip the first minute to get to the really good stuff.
Like The Rocky Horror Picture Show and basically every other Tim Curry movie, Clue is a total campfest. The remake probably won’t feature a moment quite as amazing as this:
“I hated her so much, it, it– flames, FLAMES! on the side of my face, breathing– breath, heaving breath…”
…but enough time has passed to give the millennial generation some new clues to chew on.
So what do we know about the movie? Tracking-Board that 20th Century Fox, the studio behind Deadpool, have snapped up the rights to Clue 2.0. The idea is to make an action-adventure flick with potential to become a franchise (because Hollywood). Gore Verbinski (The Ring, various Pirates of the Caribbean films) may be in the director’s seat.
Who Could Be Cast In Clue?
You can only making a movie like this by embracing the absurdity of somebody in a posh house committing a murder with a candlestick, so it’s pretty important that the casting is on-point. Having thought about this more than is probably healthy, I present to you six of Hollywood’s finest worthy of bringing Clue to a new audience.
This was almost too easy. Who else could play our favorite harlot Miss Scarlet? Jessica Chastain was a bad bitch in A Most Violent Year, a cunning strategist in Zero Dark Thirty and she also did some space-y stuff in The Martian. That’s probably less relevant. The point is that the gorgeous redhead has the chops to play a devious femme fatale, and I’d kill to see her step into Miss Scarlet’s overpriced Louboutins.
There are plenty of old grey-haired types who could embody the Prof, but after considering Dumbledore himself (Michael Gambon), I Plum-ped for Stellan Skarsgard. If you’ve seen the Thor movies, you’ll know he has just the right level of crazy, and he was also a killer in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
Mrs. White is your classic, slightly chubby cook/servant type, although in the original Clue movie she’s portrayed by the late Madeline Kahn as a black widow on the brink of insanity. I like both versions, and I reckon Suicide Squad‘s Viola Davis would be amazing as either a housemaid with dark secrets or a straight-up husband-killer.
Reverend Green (at least in the UK version of the game) is a minister who could probably do with brushing up on the ten commandments. It’s a left-field choice, but Jamie Dornan (Fifty Shades of Grey) could smash it as a quiet, God-bothering man with a tight grip on a candlestick.
As for Colonel Mustard, a typical mid-20th century hunter of ivory rhino horns on African safaris, wouldn’t Paul Rudd (Ant-Man) be the greatest casting choice of all time? Cast your mind back to Van Pelt, the rifle-wielding hunter from Jumanji, and that’s essentially what I’m gunning for here.
And finally, the elderly dame Mrs. Peacock deserves a middle-aged, cougar-ish makeover for Gen Y audiences – my vote goes to Nicole Kidman, so long as she gets an opportunity to seduce Rev. Green with that silky Aussie accent. And of course, it wouldn’t be a Clue remake if we didn’t get a Tim Curry cameo, just like FOX’s upcoming update of Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Clue is still in early development and could be a few years away. Until then you’ll find me in the billiard room, with Miss Scarlet and the lead pipe. Knock first.
Who Would You Cast In Clue?
You are the Princess Shireen of the House Baratheon, and you are my daughter.