SPOILER WARNING: If you want to go into AMC’s Preacher totally unsullied by any of the comic book plots, you might want to stop reading here. Cleansing the fucked up, ultra-violent orgy that is Preacher will be a huge challenge for AMC, but what do the gasp-making moments that will end up cluttering the cutting room floor like obscene confetti really look like?Below are seven moments from the Preacher comic books that will almost certainly not make it past the censors, but which one will leave you spattering your smart phone with today’s lunch?1. Odin Quincannon Builds His Own Alluring Meat Woman And Drops Dead While Fucking It
Noted meat fetishist and vile racist Odin Quincannon met his maker in a fleshy fuck death that Freud would have been all over. After being struck by lightening, Quincannon takes his crispy soon-to-be-corpse back to his meat processing plant and porks his meat maiden with vigor. Sadly for him, Odin then gets his neck stamped on by Jesse in the midst of his passionate love sesh. I suppose if Jesse hadn’t gotten him, the salmonella eventually would have.2. God Biting Jesse Custer’s Eye Out Like It’s A Cocktail Onion
The Evangelical preacher’s vengeful, ultra-violent version of God is totally canon in the Preacher universe and it turns out he has a real hunger for juicy eye balls, preferably when torn out with his teeth. Can you imagine sitting down for some nice evening TV and seeing the figurehead of Christianity plucking an optic nerve from a skull like a strawberry shoelace? No, me neither.3. He Just Being Arseface
I was shocked when I learned that Arseface would get a chance to foul up our screen with his puckered butthole mouth, but I find it hard to imagine they will show his gruesome origin scene.
Arseface is the product of a particularly violent birth involving a shot gun and some seriously pathetic hero worship of Kurt Cobain. After attempting to blast his head off with a shotgun in homage to his hero, Arseface instead manages to mangle his features into a drooly anus. Surely that won’t get through the censors?4. T.C. Flops It In A Fish
T.C., the redneck henchman to Jesse Custer’s maniacal extremist grandma, is a filthy (quite literally) murderous piece of work; but the thing that censors will almost certainly snip out is his zest for zoophilia. Be it animal or vegetable, dead or alive, willing or unwilling, T.C. will probably fuck it, or at least attempt to. Over Preacher history, this depraved overall-wearing beast has had sex with corpses, a chicken and a fish. Someone’s truly taking the “any hole’s a goal” mantra a step too far.5. Herr Starr’s Anal Alley
Herr Starr is the sort of character that could make even the toughest TV censor weep with apprehension, but there are a few stand-out scenes that have potential to really get the waterworks going. The first being when Herr Starr thinks he has ordered himself a female prostitute but ends up being cornered by “sexual investigators” and violently anally raped. As if that weren’t bad enough, the sexual assault also leads to Starr becoming unable to gain sexual pleasure from anything other than brutal butt play with a giant strap on. Needless to say, this trivializes sexual assault and its devastating after effects and hopefully won’t make it to TV. 6. Tulip Gets Her Head Blown Off
Sure, Tulip will probably get shot, but there is no way that her on-screen death will be as gory as the incredibly graphic panel that shows huge chucks of her head being torn into mincemeat after she pleads for one last kiss from Jesse. Too, too much. 7. Jesus DeSade’s Child Porn
A character to make the hair stand up on the back of your neck with sheer disgust, Jesus DeSade’s depraved, overtly sexual presence is a bit of a stretch to imagine on TV at all, let alone some of the vile things the leader of the Gomorrah clan gets up to. In DeSade’s eyes nothing at all is forbidden and it is practically his God-given duty to perform as many wanton sexual practices as possible and, in one scene, it’s implied that not even children are safe. At one point Jesse and Cassidy wander into one of Jesus DeSades’s enormous orgies where they stumble across a small boy crying in the corning with a rolling camera pointing at him. We don’t see the boy being harmed, but the implication of a child being filmed at a sex party is disturbing enough in itself.If you’re intrigued, check out the official trailer for AMC’s Preacher below:Share your most shocking Preacher comic moments in the comments below!