What was that?! This week’s Agents was so comic book-y! It was definitely an emotional roller coaster for me as I carefully followed that stupid death necklace through the two hour season finale. Someone does die in a Quin-jet as was seen in Daisy’s vision of the future, but I’ll expand on that later. Here’s what happened in Absolution/Ascension:1: Mission Inhuman ImpossibleHive has an evil plan to turn the people of earth into his own primitive army and SHIELD needs to stop him. Mack, May, Yoyo, and Lincoln take a Quin-jet and infiltrate the military base that Hive and his cronies have taken over. This is the first time that the episode shamelessly references the foreseen death of a team-member and it won’t be the last. Sadly this episode constantly passes around MacGuffins from character to character until you can’t remember who is where and has what.
Anyway, after Fitz uses CGI to trick the government into shutting down the Inhuman gas missile, the team uses the memory machine from season one to create a field that draws up old memories. When they use it on Hive, he goes insane due to his overabundance of memories flooding through his mind. Brett Dalton shined in this scene. I mean, that guy acted up a storm! This episode was a great send-off to Ward and to Dalton. Not to mention the amazing comic book vibe that this scene started which continued on through the rest of the two hours.
After scrambling his brain, the team lead him outside and trapped him in one of those gel cases. They trapped him. Why don’t TV characters realize how dumb their actions are? We see it. We see the disasters coming from miles and miles away and yet they’re so innocent and naive. It’s endearing in a highly irritating sort of way.Can you guess what happens next? If you said, Hive escapes and mutates SHIELD agents into his primitive cronies, you’re absolutely right. In fact, Fitz almost gets turned into one of them. Luckily, Simmons helps him escape and they manage to save one of the agents. The others, however, search the base for the main characters.They discover that Hive plans to use the Zepher to fly into the upper atmosphere and release his bomb. May and Fitz stow away on board while the rest of the team fights off the primitives. (It’s sad that Fox owns the name mutants because those things are mutants. There’s no better way to describe them.)Simmons is separated and chased to the boiler room. Yoyo is shot and the remaining members of the team end up trapped in the creepy cybernetic body part room. While Mack lances Yoyo’s wounds, primitives break down the door to the boiler room and we all assume Simmons is toast. Thankfully the primitives are obsessed with Jurassic Park so they can’t see people’s body heat when it’s masked by the room temperature. Seriously, was that guy sniffing at Simmons a deliberate call back to Jurassic Park? I call plagiarism again! Anyway, Simmons turns up the heat so the primitives can’t see.
2: Daisy’s IssuesSo Daisy did some bad stuff. I get that. But weren’t her parts a little much? We get it Daisy, you’re a cold blooded killer. #ThugLife and whatever. Can you back it up please? Daisy made that hug with Mack SO AWKWARD. He’s not assaulting you Daisy, he’s just giving you a hug. Why is Daisy struggling like he’s gonna snap her neck or something? I found every Daisy moment for the first, like, hour or so, just painful. Chloe Bennet is a great actress, but the writers gave her basically the same line over and over again, “I’m not good, I’m bad!”
Finally though, Daisy used the white, Willy Wonka, go anywhere, elevator to fly up into the Zepher and confront Hive. At first she begged for him to Hive her again like a drug addict would. When he refused, she held him up to the wall, and shanked him repeatedly like a drug addict would. Daisy plays by prison rules now. Don’t mess, unless your a composite of many tiny living organisms who is unaffected by stabs to the chest. Didn’t Daisy see Lash blow a hole in Hive’s chest? You’d think she’d remember that. Her stabbing plan failed, and so Hive and his cronies overtook her and locked her in the Willy Wonka elevator again.
3: A Death That’s – Sad? Hellfire and Iron Chef Inhuman show up just in time to board the Zepher with Hive and they head up into the sky. Meanwhile, May and Fitz try to get Daisy out of the Willy Wonka elevator but she’s started up with all of the “I’m a bad guy” talk again. Then Iron Chef Inhuman shows up and knocks out May only to be shot by Fitz and his invisible gun. After that, Daisy decides to help.Hive is really mad that SHIELD is on the plane. Once he learns that a Quin-jet docked on the roof, he’s full on pissed. He heads up to the docking area and confronts Coulson in his true form. Is Coulson going to die? No. He’s just pulling a Princess Leia and controlling a hologram. He even ends it by quoting A New Hope. Now he and Spider-Man have both made Star Wars references in the MCU. My life is complete! Coulson is actually in another part of the plane with the rest of the team.
After finding Daisy, Fitz, and May, they head to the garage where Hive, primitives, and Hellfire show up. Hellfire – fatally? – wounds Lincoln and Daisy acts like they were actually in a real relationship and not just people who’ve only been dating for like a few months at the most. She reveals that she has the death necklace and decides to put the (let’s face it) Terragen Bomb on the Quin-jet and fly it into space. As Daisy is setting up her suicide flight, Hive enters the Quin-jet and they talk before Lincoln shocks her off the Quin-jet and takes off with Hive. Daisy gets all dramatic because Lincoln is going to die or whatever. Where was this reaction when Trip died? Huh? Whiney little ungrateful teenager! On a monitor we see the Quin-jet explode. It’s very Space-Invaders-eque. No big explosion. Just a little bloop. I found that entirely amusing.4: Is Daisy Bucky Now?Right after all of that we jump 6 months forward. Coulson and Mack are after somebody whose looking for the wife of the Hobo Psychic Inhuman. Surprise, surprise, it’s Daisy. She’s emo now (possibly in honor of her super whiney emo dead boyfriend?). She gives the carved bird to the little girl like she promised and then SHIELD comes after her. They chase her to a dead end where she flies away, and then the real shocker happens. Coulson calls the Director!?!? WHAAAA???? Coulson’s the director! Mind blown.
Then they do that “Will return in a moment” thing. Why did they quit using the full sentence? Clark Gregg used to say “Agents of SHIELD will return in a moment” didn’t he? I miss that. But I digress. After the last commercial we see Dr. Radcliffe talking to his AI. I just took the time to actually google Dr. Radcliffe. In the comics he wants to build an android army. Hold on to that for a second. His AI is called AIDA who is also a Marvel Comics Character. Her creator was in love with her and died, so she tried to create a new him by copying his brainwaves.Okay, now we know the comics. The scene ends with the doctor addressing his new creation, which is hidden behind frosted glass. It looks like a human body. He tells AIDA that this is her new body! That little tease actually seems pretty cool! The agents versus androids! I’m down. Now we just have to wait through the TV wasteland that is summer, before SHIELD returns. GAAAAAH!!!!!!!Questions:All will be revealed after MONTHS of waiting!!! Simon Cowell better be hilarious on America’s Got Talent because that’s the only thing on during summer!!!!What are your thoughts? What do you see happening next? Any guesses of answers to the questions above? Do you need a moment to absorb all of the sudden story development that takes place in the last five minutes of SHIELD season 3?! Tell me in the comments! I’ll be here in the fall with more Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD on ABC! See you then!