It’s that time of the year. That’s right, it’s father’s day this Sunday! In honor of this well deserved celebration, we thought we’d give a shout-out to all those dads who taught us something through the TV screen. Here are our 25 favorite papas and their best fatherly quotes:
1. Sandy Cohen (Peter Gallagher) On The O.C.
Sandy: “The minute you were born, I knew… I would never take an easy breath without knowing you were safe.
Seth: So I’m like asthma?”
2. Joe West (Jesse L. Martin) On The Flash
[To Wally] “I’m not your friend, Wally. I’m your father. I ain’t letting you go.”
Favorite adoptive fatherly quote:
[In a flashback to young Barry] “It’s okay to be sad. You can be sad Barry. Your parents will understand if you’re not strong all the time. That is why I’m here. [young Barry gets up and hugs Joe] It’s okay son. I got you.”
3. Quentin Lance (Paul Blackthorne) On Arrow
Quentin Lance: “You stay the hell away from my daughter you son of a b*tch!
Damien Darhk: [calmly] Language.”
4. Rufus Humphrey (Matthew Settle) On Gossip Girl
Rufus Humphrey: “Guess whose dad is cool?!
Jenny Humphrey: It’s a trick-question.
Dan Humphrey: Yeah, cos it can’t be ours.”
5. Mitchell Pritchett (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) & Cameron Tucker (Eric Stonestreet) On Modern Family
Mitchell Pritchett: “You were right. Every child wants a clown for a dad.
Cameron Tucker: You’ve made a little girl very happy!
Mitchell Pritchett: Yes, I can see that.”
6. Bob Belcher (H. Jon Benjamin) On Bob’s Burgers
Bob: [after the roller-coaster collapses] “See, Gene? This is what happens when you cheat.
Gene: That was incredible! Cheating is amazing!”
7. Malcolm Merlyn (John Barrowman) On
Thea Queen: “Really hope you’re not expecting a thank you.
Malcolm Merlyn: No parent needs gratitude for saving their child.”
8. Jay Pritchett (Ed O’Neill) On Modern Family
[Talking to Mitchell] “Mockery is the sincerest form of flattery. [. . .] Listen, it goes without saying I’ve always been proud of you, and I brag about you all the time. So if I say ‘What do lawyers use as birth control?’ and the answer is ‘Their personalities,’ I want you to know I’m not referring to you. You don’t need any birth control.”
9. Jake Jaglieski (Bryan Greenberg) On One Tree Hill
[To the Time Capsule] “So, I’m a single father, and until recently a high school dropout, and I’m going on the first date since my daughter was born, aren’t I a great catch or what?:
10. Henry Allen (John Wesley Shipp) On The Flash
“Accepting it [a life sentence for the murder he didn’t commit] was the only way that I could move forward, but I knew that if I could survive that, and learn to believe in myself again, then I could survive anything. You know what lit that belief in me, Barry? You. Eleven year old you, running around, believing in me, gave me that hope. And now I’m giving it back to you, son. No more monsters can take that from us.”
11. Ross Geller (David Schwimmer) On Friends
“I like big butts and I can not lie, you other brothers can’t deny, that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face… You get sprung”
12. Walter White (Bryan Cranston) On Breaking Bad
[To his son] “Here’s what I think: You ID them, and then together, you and I put a bag over their heads, we tie ’em up, drag them way out into the desert, strip ’em naked, bury them way up into their necks in a huge mound of fire ants. Saw it in an old western.”
13. Ben Wheeler (Jean-Luc Bilodeau) On Baby Daddy
Danny: “Her name is Emma.
Ben: I don’t know any Emmas!
Danny: The baby’s name is Emma!”
14. Dr. Harrison Wells From Earth 2 (Tom Cavanagh) On The Flash
Dr. Harrison Wells: “Shouldn’t you be at school?
Jesse Wells: I graduated high school when I was 15, Dad.
Dr. Harrison Wells: Right.”
15. Alan Harper (Jon Cryer) On Two And A Half Men
Alan Harper: “Parenthood is like skydiving. You just gotta jump out of the old plane.
Charlie Harper: And get sucked into the old propeller!
Alan Harper: A propeller of love!”
16. Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane) On Family Guy
Peter Griffin: “Hey, Stewie. How about Daddy teaches you how to swim?
Stewie Griffin: Go… away… fat man. [Peter picks up Stewie] Dah! What do you think you’re doing? No means no!”
17. Alaric Saltzman (Matthew Davis) On The Vampire Diaries
Alaric: “You wanna go brush your teeth?
Alaric: Yeah, well, too bad.”
18. Rowan Pope (Joe Morton) On
Rowan Pope: “You’ve gotten yourself into a bit of trouble, Olivia, and I’m here to fix it.
Olivia Pope: No.
Rowan Pope: Now listen to me. You raised your skirt and opened your knees and gave it away to a man with too much power. You’re not rare. You’re not special.”
19. Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) On TheSimpsons
Homer Simpson: “I’ll let you hold the bomb…
Bart Simpson: The man knows me!”
20. Phil Dunphy (Ty Burrell) On Modern Family
Phil Dunphy: [seeing Haley and Alex scrubbing the kitchen] “Whoa. What’s all this?
Haley Dunphy: Mom heard us say we were bored.
Phil Dunphy: Suckers.”
21. Klaus Mikaelson (Joseph Morgan) On
[To Hope] “This city would have seen you dead, but I will have it your home. And every soul who wishes you harm will be struck down, just as sure as my blood runs in your veins, you will return to me.”
22. Marshall Eriksen (Jason Segel) On How I Met Your Mother
“You know what? Screw it! Who says two bros can’t rock a birthing class?”
23. Danny Castellano (Chris Messina) On The Mindy Project
“I’m Danny Castellano and I’m in love with your daughter. I’m the father of her baby and I need you to know that I will love them and take care of them till the day I die.”
24. Don Draper (Jon Hamm) On Mad Men
[When asking to show him the bottle his daughter Sally used when she supposedly put Mrs. Butterworth’s on their french toast] Don Draper: “That’s rum. Read labels.
Sally Draper: Is it bad?
Don Draper: … Not really.”
25. Danny Tanner (Bob Saget) On Full House &
Danny: “Okay, I’ll teach you to drive.
D.J.: Thanks, Dad, you’re the greatest. Let’s go.
Danny: First let me shower, shave, and, you know, paint the house.”
Which awesome TV dad did we accidentally leave out?
“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” -Walt Disney