Hey, everyone! As you can probably tell by the title, coming out of the theater I thought the most acclaimed movie of the year thus far could have been better than it was. Now don’t jump to conclusions and say something like I’m a “Marvel hater”, because in reality I’m the furthest thing from it. I actually enjoyed the film a lot, you can even watch my review if you don’t believe me:
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So, without further ado, let’s get into how I feel a Civil War adaptation could have been way better! (P.S. the following may contain spoilers to the film, be warned)
This should not have been a Captain America film!
Now this is very important because in the comics, Civil War was truly an Avengers story. And as much as the film ‘Captain America: Civil War’ tries to be an Avengers movie and a sequel to ‘Age of Ultron’ at times, it ultimately just wants to be a Captain America movie and a sequel to ‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’, and that is a big problem. You can’t have your cake and eat it too, because honestly the more I think about this movie, it had no idea what it wanted to be. Now I have solutions to the many problems this film has.
1. Make it an Avengers film, but with Captain America as a primary focus!
Now I know you are thinking this is the same thing as we got, but it’s not. This would allow us to have more time with the rest of the characters, and all of them, not just Cap, Iron Man, and Black Panther. We can still have a similar Cap and Bucky subplot, but first and foremost this is an Avengers film. Give us more heart between all of the characters, so when these guys go head to head, we feel more punches. Give them all reasons for beating the hell out of each other, once again: not just Cap, Iron Man, Bucky and Black Panther. This brings me to my second point…
2. No pulling punches!
As I said, aside from the main four characters of this film, no one feels like they NEED to be in this movie, they have their mild reasons for being there, but nothing that would make them resort to ACTUALLY fighting their friends on the opposing sides. In the “legendary” airport fight sequence Hawkeye, Black Widow, Ant-Man, War Machine, Scarlet Witch, Falcon, even Cap, Bucky, and Iron Man at times felt like children roughly playing in a park. Spider-Man has an excuse to act childish, because he is one, no one else is. Black Panther and Vision are the only ones taking things seriously in that scene.
3. Less jokes!
Now say what you want about “jokeless” superhero films, but at least when something serious is going on in say ‘The Dark Knight’, ‘The Winter Soldier’, and ‘Man of Steel’ (even ‘The Avengers’) I understand and believe the gravity of the situation. In the airport scene I felt no such thing, jokes were being spat out left and right, sure it was fun but I wasn’t emotionally invested. I’m not saying get rid of every last joke and make it as bleak and hopeless as possible, but please make things more believable, it is supposed to be a “civil war” after all.
4. No Zemo and stupid subplots (Winter Soldierzzz?)!
They were just unnecessary, Zemo was inaccurate to the comics, the “Winter Soldierzzz” subplot was beyond corny and stupid. This is supposed to be a Civil War between heroes, not a villain manipulating them in an overly convoluted way to do his bidding.
5. Make it be their own damn fault they are fighting!
You heard me right! No villain should have been manipulating them, it should have just been these heroes screwing up big time and coming to a disagreement on how to deal with the consequences, leading to an all out CIVIL WAR.
6. Respect Ant-Man’s character arc from his solo film!
Now, I don’t mind Ant-Man in this movie, he was funny. But obviously he was only there for the comedy because they didn’t care at all about his great character arc in ‘Ant-Man’ while making this movie! Because in his solo film, Scott was an ex-convict trying to get away from a life of crime so he can build a relationship with his daughter, Hank Pym offers him a second chance to be the man he wants to be for his child and he becomes Ant-Man. Scott in ‘Captain America: Civil War’, however, throws that second chance out the window and goes right back to being a wanted criminal by helping Cap. Did he not think of his daughter, like at all, before making this decision?
How I would fix this is by Ant-Man, yes even much to Pym’s dismay, choosing to side with Stark believing it will make him a better role model for his daughter. But then it gets real, Iron Man reveals his dark side a bit and throws Cap and his team in The Raft, and Ant-Man realizes he make a mistake in siding with Stark, as Cap’s team are heroes and shouldn’t be treated this way. Ant-Man sacrifices his freedom and breaks out Cap and his team, but before they leave, he asks Cap to tell his daughter that he is sorry and he loves her. Ant-Man fends off Iron Man while Caps team escapes. Then when Scott is behind bars, him and Tony have a minor scene of dialogue, bringing more depth to Scott’s line “Pym always did say to never trust a Stark.”
There, Ant-Man is no longer a deadbeat dad.
7. Someone die, PLEASE!
Ever since the Marvel Cinematic Universe has begun, none of the heroes have been killed and even if they have been mortally wounded, they always make a speedy recovery… well, except for Quicksilver… he is very dead.
I just wish somebody, ANYBODY important would have died in this movie, something to make us realize these character aren’t IMMORTAL! Would have appreciated it if Cap died for what he believed in (you know… like the comics) and Iron Man feeling a mass amount of guilt for his actions, realizing the fighting was all for nothing.
Dark, I know, but what part about WAR is happy and fun? Nothing.
8. Everyone is wrong!
By the time this film reaches it’s epic end, the heroes have caused SO MUCH destruction and have put the innocent lives they have sworn to protect in mortal danger. The fight ends with Cap nearly killing Iron Man and realizing what he has done, but not standing down just yet (however, us the audience know he is going to). Then, Thaddeus Ross orders a strike on Cap, and he is assassinated… IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Everyone knows they in the wrong, Cap’s team members go into hiding, while most of Tony’s team, including himself, retire.
9. No sappy apology letter!
What pisses me off most about ‘Captain America: Civil War’ is not the inaccuracy of the source material, no… it’s the Nicholas Sparks style apology letter scene with a lukewarm, boring cliffhanger that ends the movie in the same freaking place the movie started.
Come on, we all know by that ending that Steve and Tony are gonna kiss and make up next time they are together onscreen.
10. Why are words covering the screen?!?!
Now I know this is a bit nitpicky, but I felt by having gigantic title cards popping up EVERY. DAMN. TIME. the location changed, it treated the audience like idiots and ruined the otherwise beautiful scenery. Oh, yeah, like I can’t figure out the difference between Nigeria and freaking Queens.
Why, Russo Brothers? What in the hell made you think this aspect of the film was a good idea? Remove it!
As you can tell by now, I think this movie could have been done WAY, WAY, WAYYYYY better than it had been. I’m very disappointed that the ideas I have just pitched to you didn’t even happen in any way shape or form in this movie, as it would have made a far better film and would have been way more accurate to the material they were adapting.