Today is a momentous day. On June 5th, in 1985, a great man known as Ferris Bueller woke up and decided it was just too nice a day to go to high school ( when they examined the baseball game Ferris attended). Childish yes, but definitely not stupid, Ferris concocted a fantastically complex and inspired plan to play hooky. And the rest is history.
To celebrate the anniversary of Ferris’ grand achievement (this was none other than his tenth faked sick day in one year!), we encourage you to do the same. After all:
So here’s your guide to celebrating Ferris Bueller’s day off, exactly how Ferris would. And there’s one thing you’ve gotta do first.
Give The Best Performance Of Your Life
The certified Ferris Method of Faking Sick™ is pretty easy to accomplish. You just gotta roll around in pain for a while, claim your stomach hurts, and when you’re busy giving the best performance of you’re life, lick your palms.
And you’re free and clear! Next up…
Greet The Day!
That means dancing around your house in your PJs, and breaking all the fourth walls you have.
Oh, and you just gotta play all those instruments you’ve had lying around for years. You’ve never had one lessons but don’t worry, you’re already an expert.
Deal With Your Friend’s Crushing Existential Crisis: Pt 1
Leaping out your bed to gleefully skip school is one way to go, but it’s not Cameron’s. He’s busy wallowing in self pity so you’ve gotta drag him out of bed. Besides, he’s your ride.
Don’t worry, he’s not dying. He just can’t think of anything better to do.
Break Your Girlfriend Out Of School…
…by getting said friend to yell at the principal. Ok, this one’s a bit more complicated than that, and requires an intimate knowledge of how landline phones worked in the 80s. But ultimately, it all comes down to insulting that jerk who runs your school.
And once you’ve picked up your girlfriend, there’s only one thing left to do before you take off for the big city.
Steal. A Goddamn. Car.
A ferrari, to be precise. If you have the means, I really do suggest picking one up.
They are so choice.
Sneak Into A Fancy Restaurant
You’ve come this far, why not go further? It’s time to have lunch, and that can only mean impersonating the Sausage King of Chicago to get a table at the fanciest restaurant in town. Oh, and you’ll need those 80s phone skills we talked about earlier. Hope you’re prepared.
But as far as charisma can get you, sometimes you’ve just gotta have a bit of understanding when dealing with the snooty staff.
“It’s understanding that allows people like us to tolerate people like yourself.”
Sick burnz, courtesy of Ferris Bueller.
Existential Crisis: Pt 2, Stare Into The Void…
…and the void stares back.
This is an important step in Cameron’s journey — as he looks closer at the boy, the less detail the painting has. Cameron’s busy contemplating what that means for himself. You’d better leave him to it.
Twist And Shout!!
And of course, your day would not be complete without a really awesome musical number ( ).
If this doesn’t cheer Cameron up, nothing will. Although having said that, there’s something else you may have to do later…
Save Your Best Friend’s Life
You might be having the time of your life, but Cameron’s going through some stuff, which you’ll have to pull him out of. Literally. But don’t worry, you’re the heroic type.
And in any case, Cameron’s about to make the biggest decision of his life.
Existential Crisis: Pt 3, The Conclusion
It’s time for Cameron to come to a pithy realization about his place in the world, and you just might learn something from him so listen up.
Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. And anyway, you’ve got one more thing left to do before the day’s up — get home!
Race Your Parents Home
You can make it! Just cut across several gardens, though someone’s house, stay out of sight from your parents — all after kissing your girlfriend goodbye of course.
You’re free and clear! (With a little help from your sister.) Well, it was a hell of a day: Joy rides, marriage proposals, and life problems solved. You definitely knew what you were doing when you got up this morning.
What’s your favorite moment in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?