While Disney may have shown us the PG versions of their animated classics, all adults know the true meaning of a Happy Ending. Are we really going to turn a blind eye to Prince Charming’s very publicized foot fetish?
Let’s be real — even Disney Princesses need to get their kinky on. Think about it:
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves? Orgy alert! All that time cooped up together and “nothing” happened? Sure. And did nobody else find it creepy that Prince Phillip is into a Sleeping Beauty? Everyone has their sexual preferences, sure, but necrophilia is taking it too far!You didn’t keep your fingers crossed for Prince Eric, hopeful that Ariel learned to use her legs and not flop around like a fish while forking? Maybe he even gagged her on occasion to bring back those silent romantic memories of their first dates. Oh, true love…
In case these words have not been graphic enough, let’s supply you with some real imagery so you can get your Disney on. (Yes, that’s what we’re calling it now, spread the word).
Special thanks to Dorkly for supplying our very own Disney version of hentai:1. Looks like Mulan stopped trying to tame the dragon and embraced it instead.
2. Elsa is giving blue balls a whole new meaning.
3. She doesn’t even know his real name! At least she has all the time in the world to picture each and every dwarf.
4. And here we thought it was all about satisfying Prince Flynn with all the hair-pulling. Looks like Rapunzel had her own agenda…
It’s time to reveal the truth, children, Dumbo is a lie and babies are not dropped off by storks. Now that we’ve all been educated on the birds and the bees, you’ll never be able to watch another Disney movie with the parents. That’s a wrap! (Not a reference to condoms.)
Share your filthy Disney Princess puns with us if you dare!