Who’s More Vain? Kanye West And Kim Kardashian Get Real In Bazaar Interview

Kim and Kanye have surpassed themselves with a new interview that’s as funny and surreal as without a fish stick or a Hobbit in sight!

The self-proclaimed high priest and priestess of preening had plenty to say about the merits of not thinking, vanity and, of course, they couldn’t help with their merciless talons. So, what have we learned about the reality/rap power team?

Taylor Swift Who?

Insane fan theory, was trouble really about Kanye? Image: Getty
Insane fan theory, was trouble really about Kanye? Image: Getty

Sure, Kanye was dripping with compliments in the now infamous that Snap Chat phone call to Taylor, but ” When the interviewer asked Kimye about their fave TSwizz song, West replied:

“For me? I don’t have one.”

While Kim dropped what might possibly be an even sicker burn by implying she used to be a fan and saying:

“I was such a fan of hers.”

Ouch.

‘Too Self-Promotional’

Surprisingly, Kanye's favorite book is NOT his own

Surprisingly, Kanye’s favorite book is NOT his own

Get your self a chair, guys, because apparently Kanye is aware of the concept of being too self promotional. When he was asked what his favorite book was, the no-thinking advocate didn’t have an answer until Kim suggested his own biography or the book his late mom penned, which led to this delightful exchange:

KKW: Your mom’s book or your book?

KW: Yeah, but that’s like, you know…

KKW: Too self-promotional?

KW: Yeah, too promotional.

Teenage Kicks

Pammy and Johnny were Kim and Kanye's Krushes

Pammy and Johnny were Kim and Kanye’s Krushes

Before they both grew up to be big stars themselves, Kim and Kanye both had their own teenage celebrity crushes just like us mere mortals and it turns out their taste is pretty basic.

Kim opted for the generic ’90s heartthrob (or should I say former heartthrob in the wake of this year’s news) Johnny Depp whereas Kanye was all about Pamela Anderson and her Baywatch curves. Maybe Kim will be doing this for his birthday next year?

Kim K: The Holistic Dentist

If you’ve ever wondered what Kim’s secret hidden talent is, apparently it’s sniffing out rotten teeth like a well-honed hunting dog, she explained:

“I can smell when someone has a cavity. It’s a very specific smell—not a bad-breath smell—but something that is really strong.”

Not exactly one to brag about and set the party on fire, like doing the worm or something, but probably better than Kanye’s damn right ominous offering:

“I can analyze people’s intentions. Immediately. That’s just a warning. To everyone.”

A Great Underthinker Once Said

I'm not thinking...

I’m not thinking…

Guys, can you all just stop writing about what a great thinker of our time Kanye is, because he actually hates all that dumb brain shit, OK?

“Here’s something that’s contrary to popular belief: I actually don’t like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don’t. I do not like to think at all.”

Get it? He doesn’t like to think. AT ALL.

Renaissance Appreciation V Cock Shots

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

Unsurprisingly, Kanye’s fave pics of Kim are the ones where she’s not wearing any clothes, but totes in an artistic way, he explained:

“I love her nude selfies. Like, I love the ones from the side, the back ones, and the front. I just love seeing her naked; I love nudity. And I love beautiful shapes. I feel like it’s almost a Renaissance thing, a painting, a modern version of a painting. I think it’s important for Kim to have her figure. To not show it would be like Adele not singing.”

But, has Kanye ever artfully posed for his own nude snaps? I’m afraid to say, the answer is yes:

“I used to do nude selfies in my single days.You’d get a good cock shot here and there. [Laughs.] Gotta keep it rock ‘n’ roll.”

Who’s The Vainest Of Them All

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

It’s common knowledge that Kanye thinks a lot of himself and Kim published a book of pictures of her own face, but who is really the vainest of them all? The unanimous decision is Kimmy Kakes, although Kanye’s answer isn’t exactly modest…

“Yeah, I think she has vanity. And with me, I don’t give a fuck, bro; it is what it is. I’m the best — now what? I don’t know if that’s a vain statement. I don’t particularly like photos of myself, though.”

So, there you have it, even You’re welcome!

If you could be Kim or Kanye for a day, who would you choose?

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